So since all i know how to do is post journal entries so far lol here are a few poems i wrote back in the day...

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keeping formality
seeking normality
so much yet unknown
still you want to explore
no one else around
but neither one seems too sure


eyes talking,
though not a word is said
you want but to know only,
what is in your head
in your heart,
all those feelings explode
forbidden thoughts,
in the once sleepy abode

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who you are,
you only try to hide
what you feel ,
you have no other feelings beside
a game in thoughts,
it's a mental trip
you glance aside,
then let your eyes strip


a game of chance,
that you don't want to win
close your eyes,
and you let your mind spin
another yarn,
it's one more story to tell
you don't want to reveal
crawl back into your shell


want to reach out,
and you want to touch
you want to hold,
you want to do as much
life is strange ,
and you just want to steal
turn your head
and let the conscience heal

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I beg you not for charity honey
i have my pride
we all choose the way we live
we decide
too much love can cause you pain
and too little love too
when there is no more left to give
who do you turn to
once it was our journey together
a beautiful flight
but you turned left and i turned right
who do i kiss good night
wonder if you ever miss me now
do you wonder if i miss
the love that we once shared together
holding hands, making love,
a kiss

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What do you say, when your love is leaving
do you walk away, do you say goodbye
Do you still wish that, it 'd last forever
hide your face, and do you want to cry


Here I stand baby, I am at your window
standing beside, and through the falling rain
outside can you see, my arms are empty
inside our worlds, there is so much pain


we search for a love, that's all allusive
so many bags that we have to carry,
living a life, if you call this a living
lovers move on, and love does not tarry


what do I say baby, when I still love you
and you close the windows, the curtains drawn
When the night is still, and full of darkness
that's when you hope, you wait for the dawn


You say you feel, your heart is empty
baby not your crime, it's not your sin
when you 've lost the one that you always wanted
open the windows, and let the sun shine in

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shaking
quivering
my muscles vibrate
with that familiar sobbing jerk
flooding my nostrils
filling my dry cracked throat
i am lying in my pool
eyes fixed
on an unknown trap
i am lying in my pool
i know what i am
i am a sickness
i know what i am
i am a virus
i am lying in my pool
i raise my head
my neck creeks upward
like the rusty gears
the rusty gears inside me
slowly they focus
the cold glassy globes in my head
slowly they focus
on a world i can't reach
that sickly tarp
i wear for a skin
pulls back
in an awkward grimace
my head falls
i am lying in my pool
in my pool

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My black widow
Spun intricate,
Well fettered lies
So perfectly, vague.
Unaware was I,
Being an integral part
Of his sinister weave.
The web had me
Irrevocably trapped
In a masterpiece of
Mad manipulation
Cleverly ensnared,
He blinded, tortured
Crawled into my mind.
Skull fucked me raw.
Greedily his claws
Tore me a new one,
Latched on a vein,
Then sucked me dry.
Now, I no longer glow.
I'm dead, lifeless,
nothing but a shell.
Deception has turned
Me, uncaring as stone.

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It is an
accidental masochism
loving someone more than your
own self
so much that you hand
your lover the knife
and then show them the holes in
your armor
and can then only hope they
won't take advantage
of the knowledge
but they always do...

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That's it for now, I may post more when i have time...